Arrived at 6:05 a.m. to find 30 people already in line. It took about 40 minutes, and only 39.5 of those were spent on judge retention.
Now listen, America. You know my birthday's coming up. You manage to show up every four years or so, making a big deal about the effort you put out in merely showing up at all. I'm not a gift-centered person by any means, and I'm always glad to see you. In fact, I hope we see each other more often. It might help things.
But, frankly, when you do show up, what you bring me has generally been crap.
And let's not talk about the past two times. I can't even Freecycle that shit away.
This time I know I might be asking for a lot. It's not the store where you've shopped your entire life. There might not be parking. It's probably going to take a while to check out. A long-ass while. Maybe you're not entirely sure what it is you'll be taking home.
But just this once. Come on. Trust me. It's going to be worth it.