Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Things About LA That I...

... Will Miss: (4.) Fatburger

O, Fatburger. It will be some time before I once again say the word "fat" eight times to execute one fast-food transaction.

I'll miss all of those chains. In-N-Out. Tommy's. Even Carl's Jr. Drive-thru burgers that take longer just to make than a Big Mac takes to exit your body. Burgers so neatly composed, so tightly stacked with toppings, yet held in check by a paper diaper, as if the ward of some butcher-shop nanny. BSE never tasted so good.

UPDATE: To learn more about LA burgers, visit your public library. Or here.

... Won't Miss: (4.) Fatphobia

Having a gut in LA is like playing scratch-em lottery cards outside a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. The looks you get in passing convey a big helping of scorn, with just a tiny bit of "wow, I wish I could do that."

Today's FOCR: "Baby Fat," Wet Willie, The Wetter the Better

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