Monday, January 26, 2004

Dear Rupert: A Quick Thanks for the “Don’t Have a Cow, Man” Beach Towel. Enclosed, Please Find a “Don’t Have a Cow, Man” Beach Towel (Soiled)

A recent LA CityBeat interview with Harry Shearer at least partially answers a question I had all Iraq-war long:

Q: How the hell did the staff of The Simpsons feel about working for Fox, histrionic fanners of the highest war flames?

A: (Shrug) Whaddaya gonna do?

Also, dishy scoopy dish: Fox is cheap. Harry no likee sub-$15 birthday presents.

Today's FOCR: "Gotta Serve Somebody," Bob Dylan, Slow Train Coming

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Product Review
SkipDoctor CD & DVD Repair Device
Digital Innovations (retail $29.87)

Note: As a service to the FOCR reader (and I do mean the reader) I will occasionally review products of interest to the music lover. In no way does compensation change hands: I purchase the products at retail price, and am not in contact in any manner with the manufacturers or their distributors. Just a service from one consumer to another.

It was with more than a little excitement that I brought home the highly rated SkipDoctor, a hand-cranked CD & DVD polisher that claims to resurrect scratched and dirty discs. Universally praised, some seem to revere it in the way some do Lourdes water or copper bracelets.

Boy, was I disappointed.

To be fair, it has its good points. The somewhat gun-like shape is still too round for cops to mistake for a weapon as you run through the neighborhood making your PSHEW PSHEW noises at night. The makers also thoughtfully make the spinny wheel thing a neon green for further protection. But my praise ends there.

The cranking has none of the satisfying noise you’d expect. It sounds nothing like an Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle – it’s practically silent! The thing you put the disc onto looks like a ninja star you could shoot if you cranked real hard and pushed some button, but no dice. It stays in place. Those tiny jagged edges on it wouldn’t hurt my brother if I threw the wheel at him harder than I did. Totally stupid. And boring.

The polishing spray tasted terrible. It falls somewhere between Binaca and New Car Smell, but it manages to combine only the worst of those flavors. And they barely give you any. That pump bottle probably runs out after like ten or fifteen sprays under my tongue. What a rip.

Not tested: CD & DVD polishing features.

Today's FOCR: "Big Fat Funky Booty," Spin Doctors, Turn It Upside Down