Thinking Turnout Might Be Light

Today's Five O'Clock Rock (Episode 66) Addendum

Year of the Ox looking very un-bullish, seers say (IHT)
[Four is] a number the Chinese deem extremely unlucky, because "four" is pronounced the same as "death" in Chinese.

Movies That Presumably Flopped in China

• Fantastic Death
• Death Weddings and a Funeral
• Lethal Weapon Death
• Death Wish Death: The Crackdown
• Deathest Gump
• Pay It Deathward
• North Dallas Deathy
• Nineteen Deathy-Death

Album That Presumably Flopped in China

• Huey Lewis and the News, "Death!"

Today's Five O'Clock Rock (Episode 66) Ah, crap.

Year of the Ox looking very un-bullish, seers say (IHT) Chinese soothsayers see a deepening recession, millions more losing their jobs, and stocks and home prices continuing to fall. ... [S]ome fortunetellers are throwing in other dire predictions — massive earthquakes, rising U.S.-Russian tensions and trouble for President Barack Obama. ... Obama, born in the Year of the Ox, is taking office in a particularly bad year for his Chinese astrological sign. ... Obama also is the 44th president, a number the Chinese deem extremely unlucky, because "four" is pronounced the same as "death" in Chinese.
Intro
Rocks Off / The Rolling Stones
The Ox / The Who
Brainbox Pollution / Hawkwind
"B" Movie Box Car Blues / The Blues Brothers
Looking For A Fox / Clarence Carter
When My Boy Walks Down The Street / The Magnetic Fields
Fort Knox, King Solomon / Bob Mould
The Boxer / Waylon Jennings
Knocks Me Off My Feet / Stevie Wonder
Glory Box / Portishead
Wild Ox Moan / Taj Mahal
Evel Talks Of The Future/Reprise: Ballad of Evel Knievel / Evel Knievel

This Friday's Mix: Year of the Ox

Vanity Fair Writer Hospitalized

Dominick Dunne is in the hospital after being stricken with pain as he watched testimony in the O.J. Simpson robbery & kidnapping trail. Preliminary tests were inconclusive, but doctors haven't ruled out his nearly severed head.

Today's FOCR: "Six Blade Knife," Dire Straits, Dire Straits

Stocks soar as investors look to gov't rescue plan

Wall Street extended a huge rally Friday as investors stormed back into the market, relieved that the government plans to restore calm to the financial system by rescuing banks from billions of dollars in bad debt.

And we were all very sorry, and we learned our lesson, and the bad thing never happened again. The end.

R.I.P., Black Moses

Isaac Hayes has made his exit. Here he is, making one of the best entrances ever.



So badass, he can enter draped in one of my grandmother's quilts and make it look good.

Whatever went on between him and South Park, it's hard to believe he deserved the sendoff they gave him. Sad that this episode has been by rote included in his obits, regardless of their length. Do yourself a favor: watch Wattstax and Respect Yourself and see more to the man than that.

Lar-went

Largo was/is a club in LA and the venue for some of the best shows I've seen, like Naked Trucker & T-Bones and Paul F. Tompkins. (I've been led to believe it also hosted some music.) Now the club is closing its doors on Fairfax, but reopens in June at a theater on La Cienega.

In the meantime, there's this cool-looking documentary capturing the old scenery, co-created by owner Mark Flanagan. (His friendly reservation-line messages were always a treat. I never met the guy, but I'd have sworn his recordings were inviting me by name.)

www.largofilm.com

LSD Inventor, Dead at Age 102

Swiss chemist and psychedelic pioneer Albert Hoffman, who inadvertently discovered the hallucinogenic properties of LSD and first tested them on himself, died Tuesday. His face fucking melted off, man. He was 102.

When Character Limits Go Really, Really Wrong

Worst-written Headline of the Day

"Bjorn Borg bitten during dogfight, withdraws from exhibition"

Disappointingly, one reads on to find out that the Wimbledon champ was (a) not in a dogfight, and therefore (b) was not taking part in a dogfighting exhibition.

It's That Jazz Singer. Or Is It Saddam Hussein's Son?

Anita O'Day, jazz singer and perennial 37-Down answer, dies.

Today's Journalistic Exercise

Question:
Find the factual error in this title: "Apple's iPod turns five."

Answer:
Since when has an iPod ever seen its fifth birthday?

I had one that hit a ripe old eighteen months, and I couldn't delete Willard Scott's voicemails fast enough.

Today's FOCR: "Die Young," Black Sabbath, Heaven and Hell

T PITIES; “TA,” JEWELS

Mr. T is giving up his gold, out of respect for Katrina’s victims.

“As a spiritual man, I felt it would be a sin against my God for me to wear all that gold again...”



[...]

The former star of “The A-Team” said he’s about more than his rough-and-tough image.

“Yes, I am qualified to beat people up. But I am pretty intelligent,” he said. “That’s what throws people off. If you’ve been through something, that gives you an authority that you can speak on certain things. That’s why people relate to me. I pull no punches.”

Due to the aforementioned qualifications, mind you.

Me, I’m still on my learner’s permit.

Today's FOCR: "Fat Gold Chain," Schoolly D, Best of Schoolly D

[Non-iTunes]

Final Proof I'm Going to Hell

My giggling at this totenpope headline yesterday:

Mourning Pilgrims Pitch Tents in Rome Streets

I always knew I was going. I just figured it'd be over something other than a seventh-grade joke. A sweet, sweet seventh-grade joke.

Today's FOCR: "Pope Festival," Camper Van Beethoven, Camper Van Beethoven (bonus tracks)

Great Starkey's Malarkey, Batman!

[BBC News:]

Ringo Starr and Stan Lee are working on an animated TV show that will feature the former Beatle as an "evil-battling" superhero with "a great sense of rhythm."

Who gets by with a little help from his superfriends. Who gets high with a little help...

Whew. Had to get that one out of my head. Now, I'll go back to hearing the other thing I've heard in an endless mental loop all day long...

Today's FOCR: the Hamm's Beer jingle, written by the late Ernie Garven

Ah, Memories

Via Ananova:

A Romanian couple who met on the internet named their new baby "Yahoo."

Whoa. Serious?

Thank you, thank you, I post once a week. Tip the blogstaff.

Today's FOCR: "Desperate but Not Serious," Adam Ant, Friend or Foe

[No iTunes?]

Spooky

The Associated Press reports that primitive tribes of the Andaman and Nicobar Islands Indian archipelago may have had a "sixth sense" warning of the tsunami. Their ancient knowledge of the ocean and their Paleolithic lifestyle may have cued them to flee the shores, surviving the calamity.

"They can smell the wind. They can gauge the depth of the sea with the sound of their oars. They have a sixth sense which we don't possess," said Ashish Roy, a local environmentalist and lawyer who has called on the courts to protect the tribes by preventing their contact with the outside world.

This may no longer be an easy mission. Currently, Fox executives are approaching the island to find out exactly how the tribes just knew that a live-action Fat Albert movie would suck rocks.

Today's FOCR: "Voodoo Village," Tony Joe White, Tony Joe White

[No iTunes?]

O, U R N NYC EMT?

How does Diamond Dave actually get awesomer? Here's CBC to tell you:

David Lee Roth trains as paramedic.

Roth began his career in medicine several weeks ago, riding along with an ambulance crew in New York.

...

Roth has spent several nights a week responding to emergency calls in the Bronx, Brooklyn and Manhattan.

...

He even saved the life of a heart-attack victim by using a defibrillator.

Just for reference? Neither this guy nor this guy have much to say on this front, either.

Today's FOCR: "Somebody Get Me a Doctor," David Lee Roth & friends, David Lee Roth & Friends II

Big thanks to mon frère for the DLR alert.

[No iTunes?]

a haiku for gordon jump

now in heaven when
people say, "hey there, big guy,"
two heads are turning

The man who delivered the funniest TV punchline involving turkeys (without "jive") has died. "Mullets," take a lesson: that's how working with Loni is done.

Today's FOCR: "WKRP closing theme," music by Tom Wells, singer believed to be Jimmy Ellis

Double Shot: "Queen of the Forest," Ted Nugent, Ted Nugent
(Reportedly the first rock song played by Johnny Fever)

From the Mess-with-Your-Headlines:

Despite the fact that over 60 percent of Americans were led to believe otherwise, President Bush denied today that he ever made the connection between a "Hertz donut" and something edible.

Critics of shoulder punches rubbed their bruises and swore they'd try it on someone else. Like Lieberman. No, he'd take forever to get around to asking for it. Dean. Yeah, Dean. He looks like he'd like a nice "donut." Heh heh. Ow.

Today's FOCR: "Won't Get Fooled Again," The Who, Who's Next