Friday, October 28, 2005


Today's Five O'Clock Rock

"Funeral March of a Marionette," Arthur Fiedler & Boston Pops
"The Bride of Frankenstein - Main Title," Franz Waxman
"These Are the Ghosts," A Band of Bees
"Frankenstein," Edgar Winter
"Spirits in the Material World," The Police
"Star Wars Theme / Cantina Band," Meco
"Voodoo Village," Tony Joe White
"Hungry Like the Wolf," Duran Duran
"Haunted When the Minutes Drag," Love and Rockets
"Monster Mash," Bobby "Boris" Pickett
"Spiders (Kidsmoke)," Wilco
"Nothing Scares Us," New Black
"Clap for the Wolfman," The Guess Who
"Manny's Bones," Los Lobos
"Lights Out," Little Walter
This Friday's iMix: Rocktober 31st

Friday, October 21, 2005


Today's Five O'Clock Rock

"Mr. Roboto," Styx
"Iron Man," Black Sabbath
"Almost Human," Kiss
"Rockit," Herbie Hancock
"Powered Wig Machine," Desert Sessions
"I Robot," The Juan MacLean
"The Young Machines," Her Space Holiday
"Star Wars Theme / Cantina Band," Meco
"Telstar," The Tornados
"Robot Parade," They Might Be Giants
This Friday's iMix: Stupid Robot

Thursday, July 28, 2005


Anytime Somebody Coins a New Word Beginning with "Bl"
To Cleverly Denote a Connection to "'Blogs," We Should ...

... have them "bleat" up.
... ignore any "blegging" for mercy.
... put out a contract on their "blife."
... stand over them as they "beed."
... stuff their corpse into a hollow "blog."

Today's FOCR: "Blah-Blah-Blah," Iggy Pop, Blah-Blah-Blah

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


Adventure Has a New _______


* Route to Work.
* Car. Well, "New Used."
* Apartment Much Closer to the El.
* Email Address, and Will Stop Checking This One Soon.
* Way of Organizing Its Bookmarks.
* Favorite Torani Flavor.
* Rule About Caffeine After Five.
* Xbox and Has Been Really Bad About Replying to Email. Sorry.
* Version of "Izzle"... "Ujo." Like, "It's the Shujo." Kind of Makes Everything Sound Bad Ass, You Know, Like Cujo. Shut Up.
* Boyfriend Who Treats It like a Princess and Will, in Time, Make Adventure Forget All About the Bastard-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.

Today's FOCR: "Born for Adventure," Styx, Equinox

Tuesday, April 05, 2005


Final Proof I'm Going to Hell


My giggling at this totenpope headline yesterday:
Mourning Pilgrims Pitch Tents in Rome Streets

I always knew I was going. I just figured it'd be over something other than a seventh-grade joke. A sweet, sweet seventh-grade joke.

Today's FOCR: "Pope Festival," Camper Van Beethoven, Camper Van Beethoven (bonus tracks)

Tuesday, February 08, 2005


Five O'Clock Jockamo

The best radio station, on the best day, in the best city in the world.

All you'd need to know today.

Today's FOCR: WWOZ-FM, New Orleans, La.

Thursday, January 27, 2005


Great Starkey's Malarkey, Batman!

[BBC News:]

Ringo Starr and Stan Lee are working on an animated TV show that will feature the former Beatle as an "evil-battling" superhero with "a great sense of rhythm."

Who gets by with a little help from his superfriends. Who gets high with a little help...

Whew. Had to get that one out of my head. Now, I'll go back to hearing the other thing I've heard in an endless mental loop all day long...

Today's FOCR: the Hamm's Beer jingle, written by the late Ernie Garven

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


The Snownership Society

Stifle this talk of "ownership" and "privatizing," and how the private sector does the job better than government. Allow me to share something the rest of the nation can learn from Chicago before throwing Social Security to the dogs.

Walk a few Chicago blocks in the days following a snowstorm. You'll notice a big difference between city and public property in the level of safe and easy travel.

Park sidewalks, city property and streets: shoveled and plowed. Always? Almost. Promptly? Usually. Done well? Surprisingly often.

Stores and private businesses: icy and poorly shoveled. Always? No. Often? Yes. Incompletely cleared? Oh, yes.

The reasons for this slippery schism, which came to me in hot mental vomit after I nearly threw my dick out on a patch of storefront ice, are simple and twofold.

One. The city budgets money for snow removal. Men and women who do snow removal are paid decently (too well, some might say) and it is their JOB. Likely to have protected jobs, they probably feel more secure in their jobs, knowing exactly the boundaries they'd have to cross in order to lose it. Their job, for which they are paid and have time to do, is removing snow.

Whereas, one would imagine, the UPS Store employee opening the store alone at 0800 probably has precious little time to also run outside and shove a pile of wet heart attack around, while the SUV throng stands around shrieking to see a manager if their Frontgate.com returns don't go out this hot fucking minute.

Two. There is a reason that cities budget money for snow removal. Political patronage jobs to throw around, you say. Absolutely. No argument there. But shut up anyway.

Snow clearing is not only necessary to a city's operation, but a city doesn't like to see old folks slip and kill themselves. It makes the city look bad. People would stop moving there. Then they wouldn't be buying things like ridiculous permits allowing you to park the car you own.

More than that, buried beneath all that, there's a vestigial reason that cities send out the shovels and plows. People of the burgh Expect and Demand it.

Businesses' primary motivation to shovel and plow (make products safe, emit less waste, not kill people) is to Keep From Getting Sued.

We used to live in an E&D society. Bit by bit, we're being trained to accept substitutes who give us only enough to KFGS.

Today's FOCR: "Gotta' Plow That Snow," James Coffey, Lots & Lots of Trucks

[No iTunes?]

Thursday, January 13, 2005


Ah, Memories

Via Ananova:

A Romanian couple who met on the internet named their new baby "Yahoo."

Whoa. Serious?

Thank you, thank you, I post once a week. Tip the blogstaff.

Today's FOCR: "Desperate but Not Serious," Adam Ant, Friend or Foe

[No iTunes?]

Thursday, January 06, 2005


Spooky

The Associated Press reports that primitive tribes of the Andaman and Nicobar Islands Indian archipelago may have had a "sixth sense" warning of the tsunami. Their ancient knowledge of the ocean and their Paleolithic lifestyle may have cued them to flee the shores, surviving the calamity.
"They can smell the wind. They can gauge the depth of the sea with the sound of their oars. They have a sixth sense which we don't possess," said Ashish Roy, a local environmentalist and lawyer who has called on the courts to protect the tribes by preventing their contact with the outside world.
This may no longer be an easy mission. Currently, Fox executives are approaching the island to find out exactly how the tribes just knew that a live-action Fat Albert movie would suck rocks.

Today's FOCR: "Voodoo Village," Tony Joe White, Tony Joe White

[No iTunes?]

Wednesday, November 17, 2004


O, U R N NYC EMT?

How does Diamond Dave actually get awesomer? Here's CBC to tell you:

David Lee Roth trains as paramedic.


Roth began his career in medicine several weeks ago, riding along with an ambulance crew in New York.
...
Roth has spent several nights a week responding to emergency calls in the Bronx, Brooklyn and Manhattan.
...
He even saved the life of a heart-attack victim by using a defibrillator.

Just for reference? Neither this guy nor this guy have much to say on this front, either.

Today's FOCR: "Somebody Get Me a Doctor," David Lee Roth & friends, David Lee Roth & Friends II

Big thanks to mon frère for the DLR alert.

[No iTunes?]

Monday, November 15, 2004


Well, fuck.

So this is hell.


I'd always heard it was going to be cold here when that guy got reelected.

Today's FOCR: "Cold Spell," Orleans, Still the One

[ No iTunes?]

Tuesday, November 02, 2004




Today's FOCR: "Funky President (People It's Bad)," James Brown

[No iTunes?]

Thursday, October 21, 2004


Delicious, Part II



(In case you forgot, Delicious the First.)

Two dynasties down in 2004. One to go. November 2nd.

Today's FOCR: "Babe," Styx, Cornerstone
[Still no iTunes?]

Saturday, October 09, 2004


Final 2004 NL Wild Card Standings*

1. Chicago (0.0)
2. Philadelphia (-3.73)
3. San Francisco (-3.89)
4. Houston (-4.48)**
5. San Diego (-4.56)

Suck it, Houston! Ha ha, yeah!

Today's FOCR: "Astro Man," Jimi Hendrix, First Rays of the New Rising Sun
[No iTunes?]

* If decided by scores given to city flags by NAVA members . As seen on MetaFilter.
** Nice flag, Houston! Ha ha! Suck it!

Monday, October 04, 2004


Bush signs tax bill, blasts Kerry in Iowa

…[A]fter the tax bill-signing ceremony at a YMCA in Des Moines, Bush told the audience in Clive that the state's economy was sound.

And then the YMCA audience went upstairs to their rooms.

Today's FOCR: "Room at the Top," Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Echo

[No iTunes?]

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Foo' Tang

My reactions to this* (via The Morning News), by instance of viewing:

1st: Laughter

2nd: Laughter

3rd: Initially suppressed but ultimately overpowering laughter

4th: Head-down-on-desk-and-almost-drooling laughter

5th: What can only be classified as "uncontrollable cackling"

6th: Concern that I'm laughing too hard.

7th: Favorite part: the secondary attempt at recovery, resulting in the subtler, off-camera comedy

8th: New favorite part: the tough, "'Sup?" head snap at the very beginning.

9th: A wistful understanding that, as with life, this link will disappear before I know it. The future washes over me, aided by time-lapse imagery of the seasons. Leaves fall. Snow flies. The "oregonstate.edu/~blackd/castin.mov" link eventually dies under the crushing traffic of hungry viewings like my own.* Or perhaps "Blackd" graduates from, or otherwise leaves, Oregon State. I forget this movie and the delightful Saturday morning it provided. I never clearly learn this guy's name: John? Rod? Deflected by this mishap from his burgeoning action-star career, JohnRod continues to finish his communications degree. He nabs an internship at a huge advertising agency. It leads to a solid job with a direct-mail marketer. By age 45, JohnRod thinks more about 3-digit ZIP presorts than he ever imagined a person could. Over the cup of mediocre coffee in the office kitchen, he remembers that long-ago day in front of the video camera. If only I'd been less cocky, he thinks. If only I'd spent less time looking tough for the camera, and more time concentrating on my motion, I'd have completed that flip. I'd have been noticed in that student film. Who knows where I'd be now? He dumps another packet of Equal into the bitter coffee and tries not to think of it. I'm married, I've got a great kid, and I'm successful. At that, I've done a hell of a lot more than my father ever managed. I'm doing a lot.

10th: Softer cackling.

Today's FOCR:
"No Time," The Guess Who, Canned Wheat

[ Don't have iTunes? There must have been a hole in the net.]

*Yep. Links since updated.

Thursday, September 16, 2004


Now Bend Over and Proofread Harass

What's the term for deciding where to break a line of text, moving subsequent words down to the next line? I'll tell you why I ask.

The renewal sticker for our Illinois license plate was affixed to a card bearing this instruction:
STICKER INSTRUCTIONS
-----------------------------------------
PLACE THIS VALIDATED DECAL ON YOUR REAR
LICENSE PLATE
Somebody in the Secretary of State's office sure earned their pay, making me laugh so hard after I figured out what I did wrong.

So he or she should have no problem loaning me $78 for a new sticker... right?

Today's FOCR:
"Stick It," Great White, Great White

[ Don't have iTunes? Why must you struggle? You only make the knots tighter...]

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

This One Goes out to Bourbon



Today's FOCR:
"New Orleans Is Sinking," The Tragically Hip, Up to Here

Confidential to MBK: Sure, I'll do requests.

Monday, September 13, 2004


Nouveaucab


indignorance: a callow outrage.
    Fox News reacted to the documentary with characteristic indignorance.

comatoast: a severely inebriated tribute.
    The wedding was ruined by spicy revelations in the brother-in-law's comatoast.


Today's FOCR: "Don't Believe a Word," Thin Lizzy, Johnny the Fox

[Don't have iTunes? Oh, fine. But why on Earth not?]